Reflection: The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

The first time I heard The Giving Tree was when my mother read it to me some years ago. Back then I didn’t fully appreciate it the way I do now. When I was a young girl I couldn’t understand how the tree could still be happy even after giving up everything for the boy who seemed only to remember her for what she could offer him. But hearing the story again now that I’m older, there are two ways I am better able to comprehend it.

The first is about the boy. He was not selfish and cruel; he was merely growing up. In the process of growing up his priorities changed and the tree became something he took for granted. I don’t think he did this on purpose though. Like most of us growing up, he was caught up in his own little world. Originally of course, his world mostly consisted of the tree but as he got older, his world began expanding until the tree was barely in it anymore. The boy had dreams and wants and following his dreams was never a crime. In the end he and the tree were reunited. I like to think of this as his coming home. No matter how far one travels in life, one must never forget to return to where he belongs.

The other new way I view the story is about the tree herself. I could never understand why she had no problem giving all of herself to the boy when it seemed like he gave her nothing in return. Now I realize that what she had for him was unconditional love. It didn’t matter to her that he never physically gave her anything. His presence in her life gave her happiness and for her that was always enough. I realize now that the story is very similar to the relationship one has with his or her parents.

When we’re very young our moms and dads are our whole world but as we grow older we begin to grow apart from them. We don’t realize it but they’re always still around, waiting for us and prepared to give us anything we need. Reading The Giving Tree again has made me appreciate my parents better. They have given me everything that they can and allowed me room to grow even though they would probably prefer it if I was right beside them like I used to be. I’ll always be grateful for that.

Reading the story again made me realize that there are several different ways it can be interpreted, especially considering Shel Silverstein’s background which was not particularly child-friendly. For example, I read that there are several people who criticize the story saying that it promotes selfishness, narcissism and codependency.^[1] Others say that it sends an unhealthy message to parents and tells them to give everything to their children even if it means having absolutely nothing for themselves. Environmentalists dislike the book for obvious reasons. At first I wasn’t sure how to reconcile all these opinions with the one I had formed for myself but then I realized that all of these perspectives are valid and it just depends on how you choose to view the story.

Personally I would like to continue seeing it the way I do. It portrays one’s love and whether or not the boy was deserving of that love is not ours to speculate. All we can do is appreciate it for what it is – unconditional. 

^[1] Margalit, R. (5 Nov. 2014). "The Giving Tree" at Fifty: Sadder Than I    Remembered. The New Yorker. Retrieved from http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-  turner/giving-tree-50-sadder-remembered.